You Will Not Believe The Blog

Star Wars Yoga: AT-AT & Collapsed AT-AT

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of:
Steve Jones,
Senior VP,
LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Dear Mr. Lucas

It was you who first taught me that it doesn't matter if your product sucks. What matters is how geeky your fans are. And our market research is showing that Yoga people have a lot of untapped geek-type commitment simply waiting for someone to provide them Yoga stuff to buy.

These most recent poses made us think: Yoga Inspired Action Figures? Update the 80s toys so that they have more than 4 bodily joints total?

Best
Steve

Star Wars Yoga: X-Wing, plus X-Wing Extended

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of:
George Lucas,
LucasFilm

Dear Steve,

Yoga SUCKS. I don't really care what you people say - it is neither therapeutic nor fun; and I'll be honest with you - contorting myself so that I resemble one of my spaceships is just simply weird.

That being said, I am open to the brand growth opportunities. I looked at your numbers for Ashtanga and Bikram Yoga (not sure why there are different yogas--it's all pretzel freaks to me); and I think there is opportunity here. Do you remember when nobody believe that Star Wars would be a hit, but Steven Spielberg told everyone that it would be and he was right? Do you remember that? I do. And guess what? Star Wars was a total hit.

P.S. Sure, whatever, the X-Wing poses are cool.

George Lucas

Star Wars Yoga: TIE Fighter (plus TIE Fighter Advanced)

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of:
Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Dear Mr. Lucas,

First, our apologies for forcing (no pun, seriously) that Star Wars Yoga class on you and your staff. We honestly thought that if you tried it, you would not only like it, but also maybe it would help with the increasing neck circumference thing.

We had no idea about the old stick ball injury and sorry we re-aggravated it with the TIE fighter poses. As you can see from the images attached, it's meant for the elbows to be up and I think the instructor was just trying to help.

Please don't hold your experience against our little project - it's taking off otherwise

Best,
Steve

Star Wars Yoga: Reclined Jabba with Reclined Jabba, Salacious Crumb Variation

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of Steve Jones
Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Dear George,
Maybe a series of poses based on the Force and another based on the Dark Side? Double the revenue stream potential?

Best,
Steve

From the Desk of George Lucas

Dear Steve,
Jabba has NOTHING to do with the Dark Side of the Force. Please rewatch Return of the Jedi before writing me any more letters.

GL

Star Wars Yoga: Speeder Bike & Revolved Speeder Bike

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of Steve Jones, Senior VP
LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Dear Mr. Lucas,

Included here is a continuation of the Star Wars Branded Yoga series. Exciting new development: we've started hosting free SW Yoga around Los Angeles and the turnouts are incredible. As a class, it almost teaches itself - the teacher instructed them in some Jedi philosophy and meditation (or what we're calling Jedi philosophy and meditation - no one we spoke with in The Continuity Dept. is actually clear about what Jedi philosophy actually is. They recommended just saying a lot of Buddhist mumbo jumbo and throw in the word force a lot. Totally worked btw); and then introduced the core poses (what we've been showing you here).

I guess what I'm saying here George is: growth market.

Best,
Steve Jones

Star Wars Yoga: Half I Am Your Father

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga. We are following a correspondence between George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, and Steve Jones, Senior VP, LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy. Currently, to shore up the flagging brand, Mr. Jones has proposed launching a line of Star Wars branded yoga.

From the Desk of George Lucas

Dear Steve,

First off: what exactly is Yoga? Is that some weird fan fiction version of Yoda? I suppose the 'g' sort of looks like a downward 'd'. Is that what this is? Fuck, those people are weird.

Sincerely,
GL

From the Desk of Steve Jones, Senior VP
LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Dear Mr. Lucas,

No.

Perhaps you should just let us take the lead on this one. I think you maybe are better suited to the creative stuff, let us lackeys worry about making money.

Yoga is a millennia old physical and spiritual practice that originated in India way way before Star Wars btw (and yes, I am aware that technically Star Wars also happened a long time ago... actually, mental note: possible synergy there.)

It will probably be lost on you, but attached is another SW-Yoga Pose Concept. We tested this one in the 30 - 40 set, and let me tell you: the guys at least went berserk.

Best,
Steve Jones

Star Wars Yoga: Downward Facing Wookie

This is an installment of Star Wars Yoga.

Dear Mr. Lucas,

Let me start off by saying that the response to SW Yoga has been huge in our test markets. It turns out that there is HUGE overlap between Yoga's Mystical-Breath-Spiritual-Brand and the Joseph Campbell Hero's Journey shit you used to write Star Wars. Tremendous Synergy there George; we were pleasantly surprised.

Attached here you will find another SW-Yoga Pose Concept we had our guys mock up. We are literally bouncy with excitement over here; the possibilities are endless. Did you know that lots of Yoga people talk about the three courses of Yoga? Possible resonance here with the the original three episodes? Just an idea. And it's not that I don't like the prequels, it's just that we've found brand loyalty starts and stops with Luke.

Ok, we'll keep it coming, but please get back to me quick on this George; I think our window might be limited on this one.

Regards,
Steve Jones, Senior VP
LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy

Star Wars Yoga: Saber One

Dear Mr. Lucas, 

It has come to our attention here at LucasFilm that the Star Wars Brand has recently suffered in popularity.  Forgetting for a moment the bizarre animated film recently released, Star Wars merchandise sales have hit an all time low.   It is time for a dramatic rethinking of not only the SW brand itself, but also it's target audience.   For too long we have tried to sell action figures and lunch boxes to overweight "geeks" and "nerds".   This market has and will continue to be loyal, but we believe they are also saturated.

We propose a new marketing strategy and target: the 30-something, health conscious consumer who probably owns an Apple laptop and is trying to live "green".   In this effort, we would like to initiate a line of Star Wars Branded Yoga.   Attached you will find a design and concept study.

People who participate in yoga are one of the most cash-rich demographics in this country currently.   (The other large cash-rich group is people who watch golf - perhaps a Star Wars themed course?   Just an idea.)  We believe that if we can sell them on the idea that their yoga can be enhanced by the Star Wars brand, we will definitely have tapped a deep chakra of money.

Any thoughts?   We will continue to brainstorm and create new poses based on the Star Wars Universe.

Thanks George,

Steve Jones, Senior VP

LucasFilm Marketing and Brand Strategy